Monday, December 06, 2010

Every day, in every way, monastic life gets a little more attractive.

I went home on my lunch break, logged into an online dating site and found the following message in my mailbox:

"Cute man for sure."

I understood this to mean that the author found me attractive, so I wrote back:

"Thanks, buddy."

His response (word for word, I am not making this up):

"So whatre you up to sweet cheaks?"



Brother Christopher said...

Hello, this is the standards police. I am going to issue you a citation because your standards are too high.

You will need to appear at court at a later date to show that you have paid the fine.

Thank you

Deinos said...

Bright side? At least he didn't call you "sweat cheeks".

Anonymous said...

What IS the fine for too-high standards? Because you may have them, but that was pretty bad. I might have kept up the conversation if I was lonely enough, but I wouldn't like myself very much.

Anonymous said...

Good reason to take up smoking ... so you don't have to talk or ((shudder)) type after sex!

Pallas Renatus said...

Fuck standards, this is the internet equivalent of staggering up to someone at the bar and not being able to speak without slurring your words.

Albiana said...

Agreed with Pallas Renatus, I read that response you received with the sloppy drunken slur. And probably a garlic-laden belch for punctuation and/or emphasis.

Nothing wrong with having standards and marking the "no linguisitc troglodytes" checkbox.

Means you know your own worth.

All the better to be on the lookout for someone who is able to challenge you and keep up with all the admirable qualities you have to offer.

Hylie Random said...

Had to go look the quote up to get it right, but I think of it SO many times when goofing on the internet:

“Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!”- George Carlin