Friday, July 24, 2009

Best. Wedding. Ever.

I have no clue who these people are, nor do I particularly care. All I know is that straight, gay, bi or Thai, this is the level of exuberant joy that should be expressed whenever two people in love officially announce their intent to spend the rest of their lives together:

And yes, I cried like a baby. So enjoy.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

My therapist says the darndest things

Him - "Evn, you're really doing a great job processing your current issues."

Me - "Thanks!"

Him - "So now, let's work on making sure you don't turn into a paranoid psychopath."

Me - "Touché."

Monday, July 13, 2009

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Fun with Annunciation Enunciation

Me - "Hey, I need advice."

Sarah - "You need a vise?"

Me - "Um... no, I already have plenty of vices."

Sarah - "I'm confused."

And so on.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Inanna Speaks

Howdee do, y'all. Curtsy.

Strifemongers, did I not just say "curtsy"?

[Insert a moment to let you people collect yourselves and learn to follow orders.]

Better. That's better.

For those who have not had the pleasure, my name is Inanna Dentata. Which, roughly translated, means "She who turns men into women with teeth." And I am Evn's inner drag queen.

Oh, don't even try to act surprised. Stereotypes aside and squelched under one of my (fabulous, you can only hope to one day own knock-off trash vaguely resembling these) heels, every gay man has an inner drag queen. And sometimes--please do excuse the pun--we come out.

In this case, Evn has spent the past 24 hours obsessed with Facebook, desperately trying to reconnect with people from his graduating high school class. (Read: He didn't like them, they didn't like him, but suddenly, sixteen years later, he's feeling all nostalgic. Whatever, butch.) Regardless, with his conscious mind all distracted, I figured I'd seize this particular opportunity and introduce myself to his readers.

You're welcome.

I said curtsy.

So here's the long [bats eyelashes] and short of it: Anytime Evn starts whining to himself about how nice it would be to feel normal, how nice it would be to feel mainstream, how nice it would be to not identify as a gay Witch with a beer belly, I am going to elbow my way onto the dance floor and remind him that normal ain't anywhere near as relevant as special.

Because whether or not his tired ass realizes it, he's special.

And so are all of you.

Now prance, bitches.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Quote o' the Moment - Flint Knives

"When someone says to me, 'My Granny brought me into the Craft and taught me all I know,' it is a bit like saying, 'I've started a new line of flint knives in my cutler's shop.' The first question I always ask is, 'Surely you've got beyond that?'"

-Evan John Jones