Friday, December 04, 2009

FeminEvn

Sarah: "I really like that new Lady Gaga video."

Me: "LADY GAGA IS A TOOL OF THE PATRIARCHY."

Sarah: "Evn... I acknowledge and appreciate your awareness. Really, I do. But it's important to remember that not everyone is a tool of the Patriarchy."

Me: "That's what the Patriarchy wants you to believe."

Sarah: "Just out of curiosity, how many feminist blogs are you misinterpreting I mean following these days?"

Me: "A couple."

Sarah: "Define 'a couple.'"

Me: "Well, Shakesville, of course. And Shapely Prose. And Feministe."

Sarah: "Okay..."

Me: "And Feministing. And Fugitivus. And The Rotund. And Fetch Me My Axe. And Renegade Evolution. And Rage Against The Man-chine. And I Blame The Patriarchy. And I Shame The Matriarchy. And Bitch, Ph.D..."

Sarah: "Okay, wow. I think you may have overdosed."

Me: "And you know what's weird? For the past few months, I've been feeling so angry all the time. You know? Because society inherently favors men and equality is an illusion?"

Sarah: "Apropos of nothing, but do you still have issues with Attention Deficit Disorder?"

Me: "Well, yeah. Why?"

Sarah: "Because I'd like you to play with this stuffed-toy monkey until I figure out how to explain feminism in a way that will help you become a positive force for change instead of an impotent, insulting conspiracy theorist."

Me: "Monkey!  Hey, wait a minute... what kind of monkey?"

Sarah: (rubbing her forehead) "It's a gender-neutral, sexually ambiguous capuchin with a Masters Degree in Interdisciplinary Oppression Studies from the University of California at Berkeley, okay?  Are you happy with that?"

Me: "SEXUAL AMBIGUITY IS A TOOL OF THE PATRIARCHY."

Sarah: "Get out of my house."

18 comments:

Code Name Sarah said...

C'mon, Evn - get it right. Lady Gaga isn't a tool of the patriarchy... she's an Illuminati mind-controlled sex slave:
http://vigilantcitizen.com/?p=1676

You know.

I joke, I joke. Lady Gaga is actually very talented and almost certainly not an Illuminati puppet. And you should get me the new album as a shiny holiday gift.

[WV = "deffp" -- which is the patriarchy's rapper name, ironically enough.]

Matt Gerlach said...

(I heard patriarchy's tool is much more impressive than lady gaga...)

Yewtree said...

Evn, dearest, it sounds like you need to upgrade your feminism from second wave to third wave.

Men are victims of the [insert oppressor of choice]-archy, too.

Yewtree said...

And speaking of feminist blogs, why aren't you reading (and writing for) The Bluestocking?

Siobhan said...

Sady Doyle (www.tigerbeatdown.com) LOVES Lady Gaga. She's also at ShePop on Bitch PhD. So Lady Gaga can't be a tool of the patriarchy.

Also, when you find out how to be a positive tool for change instead of super-angry because of the way the world is, please, please let me know.

And for the love of god, work your way through Sady's archives. You will laugh your buns off.

Evn said...

Yewtree: I'm still a Bluestocking! Honest! But at the moment, I'm having trouble writing any postmodern feminist material that doesn't include the phrase "tool of the Patriarchy." I'll work on that, along with the aforementioned upgrade.

Siobhan: Intriguing. I'll check out Sady Doyle post-haste.

Brother Christopher said...

Oh Evn.

You are a Tool...of the Patriarchy.

Cause you have penis, and therefor you are an oppressor. Just by being.

Much like, when I am around my friends of non-european descent, that I am THE MAN and I am oppressing, right then and there.

Code Name Sarah said...

Siobhan, I completely second the love for Tiger Beatdown. Not only does it have the best feminist blog name ever, but Sady is brilliant and I love her quasi-Victorian prose, pop culture analysis, and multiple!! Exclamation points!!!

Cat said...

Whew! When I saw that Tiger Beat Down (www.tigerbeatdown.com) wasn't on the list, I immediately had to come and correct that oversight here in the comments. Thank goodness Siobhan and Code Name Sarah beat me to it!

Red Delicious said...

I heart your words.

Yvonne Rathbone said...

When the patriarchy is getting me down, only one blog works to pick me back up: Angry Black Bitch.

'Cause she keeps it real *and* has sorta-beagles.

Thalia Took said...

I love Angry Black Bitch! She's freakin' hilarious.

Yewtree said...

you've been tagged in the "Interesting Religions" meme.

Deborah said...

I think you might be reading more of these than I.

But add Racialicious.

knottybynature said...

There's a thought that crossed my mind. It's the scene from HP where he's in the book store and sees the Grim on the cover of a book. And someone there says, 'I would suggest not buying it, people start seeing death omens everywhere' or something like that and toddles off.

Sometimes....I think that it becomes the same thing. Not saying that there isn't a lot that isn't justifiably arguable....

But if someone wishes me Merry Christmas, I smile and nod because I know that most of them are just happy this time of year and sharing well-wishes because their mind is filled with love, hope, peace, family, and friends.

Not because they're trying to be a TOOL and enforce their religious beliefs on me.

wv: tringle - trying to jingle...and FAIL.

Thalia Took said...

Personally, I think most of them are trying to be a tool when they assume their religion is the default, but that's just me. Or perhaps they're not trying and just are. I don't know, but I've rather lost patience with it.

Speaking of tools and feminism, I've just been baiting that bigot idiot Robin A over at Jason's blog. Don't know why I'm bothering. Sometimes it gets so you just can't help it, you know?

Anyway do you read Echidne Evn?

Evn said...

Thalia, I'm not familiar with Echidne, but I'll track it down. On with the baiting!

Thalia Took said...

Oh, the url would probably help:

http://echidneofthesnakes.blogspot.com/

Does this make me an enabler? Or just someone who wants everyone to drink the same, bitter, Kool-Aid I'm stuck with?