Now let's have a sing-along, shall we?
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Now let's have a sing-along, shall we?
(Hidden theme solved by Nettle and Red Delicious.)
1. A humanoid alien comes to Earth with a warning. (Solved by Nettle.)
2. 1930's serial film, remade with a little Queen. (Solved by Nettle and Deinos.)
3. Although it was his first American screen appearance, only his voice is heard until the end of the film.
(Solved by Melville.)
4. The Tempest. With a robot. (Solved by Veles.)
5. "I don't think it would be too amusing for the youngsters if I conjured up a demon from hell for them."
(Solved by Veles.)
6. Part of the title became a British term to describe large or menacing plants.
(Solved by Veles.)
7. The ship's passengers are chosen by lottery. (Solved by Deinos)
Friday, November 20, 2009
[Ed. note: Humorous and/or righteously indignant essays about the State of NeoPaganism Today will return shortly. And this post may disappear within the hour. If it does, don't worry. I probably just decided to stop dragging everyone else down with me. Also, please know that I'm not preparing to fling myself off a bridge or anything--I'm just getting some stuff out.]
When Jack and I broke up, I was upset but not particularly crushed. The end of our affair was a long time in the making, and while we haven't always seen eye to eye over the past couple of months, we've managed to cohabitate reasonably well, to the point of even getting along with each other.
Then Tuesday happened. I'd pulled an admittedly stupid, disrespectful stunt, and Jack was understandably pissed off, and I tried to apologize, and in doing so I suddenly blurted, "I am still in love with you." And hey, funny thing, but I didn't know I was still in love with him until I heard those words burble out of my mouth. I honestly thought I was, like, healing and shit. Instead, I discovered that I'm really, really good at lying to myself.
And I know, okay? I know I should've tossed some clothes in a bag and broken our lease the second the relationship officially ended, and cut off all contact until I felt whole again. But I didn't, because (brace for more delusion) I had it in my head that this was just a phase: Jack would get whatever out of his system, come to his senses and be down on his knees begging me to take him back well before our anniversary. And I would say no, and vengeance would be mine. In anticipation of this grand event, I refused to deal with the reality of the situation, and when Jack didn't prostrate himself at my feet, I freaked out and threw things at walls, because Look how crazy my love for you makes me! Look how I prove my worthiness to you by going violently out of my mind! Which, y'know. Always works.
The truth of the matter is this: Jack is not going to beg me to take him back, because he does not want to get back together. No amount of unstable or self-destructive behavior on my part is going to change that.
Have you ever seen one of those "depression hurts" commercials? I always assumed that the "hurt" thing was figurative, but no, it does indeed physically hurt. I desperately want the pain to go away, but depression is unfamiliar territory. I don't know how to navigate it. I'm afraid I'm going to get lost in it. In the meantime, as I've been mucking through this gray, Sisyphean landscape, Jack is... blossoming. He's been working out, hitting the town with new friends and generally just loving life. That hurts even worse. He's happy, while every morning I look in the mirror to find a wilted, ugly thing with bloodshot eyes staring back.
I understand that I shouldn't be beating myself up so badly, that I should be doing something to repair my devastated self-esteem, or at the very least start looking for a new apartment. But all I'm able to do right now is fixate on how weak I truly am. You see, despite my fantasies of empowerment and revenge, I was ultimately the one who broke down and begged. Above everything else, that hurts most of all.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
New Strifemongers Cat and Melville knocked these out with no problem. Clearly, the ante must be upped next week.
Hidden Theme: The Zodiac.
1. Bull Durham
3. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
4. The 40-Year-Old Virgin
5. The Scorpion King
6. The Men Who Stare at Goats
7. A Fish Called Wanda
I'm very proud of how much work I put into today's hidden theme, which means someone's probably going to guess it immediately. (Cat got it.)
1. A veteran catcher mentors a rookie pitcher. (Solved by Melville.)
2. The brothers are a future governor and a former dispatcher. (Solved by Cat.)
3. Based on a children's fantasy novel, which was the first written but the second chronologically. (Solved by Cat.)
4. The lead actor really did have his chest waxed, which he later described as "unnecessarily painful." (Solved by Melville.)
5. "We have killed Babylonians! We have killed Mesopotamians! But we have never had the pleasure of killing an Akkadian." (Solved by Melville)
6. An army training program for psychic spies. (Solved by Cat.)
7. The stuttering animal lover accidentally kills three terriers. (Solved by Melville.)
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
The 2010 Calendario Romano has been released. For those not in the know, it's a Vatican-approved calendar that features a different smolderingly handsome Catholic priest for each month of the year.
Because hapless crushes on straight, married dudes no longer cut it for me in the "You'll never tap that" department.
I really thought Red Delicious was going to clean up on this one. He may have no choice but to seek revenge.
Hidden Theme: Movies made into musicals.
2. Billy Elliott
3. Legally Blonde
4. Reefer Madness (a.k.a. Tell Your Children)
5. The Wedding Singer
6. The Little Shop of Horrors
7. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
(Hidden theme solved by Wendy.)
1. "I like you, and I want to spend the night with you." "Do you mean sleep over?" "Well, yeah." "Okay. but I get to be on top." (Solved by Rebelleink.)
2. "Find a place on that bloody wall and focus on that spot. Then whip your head 'round and come back to that spot. Prepare!" (Solved by Wendy.)
3. "Don't stomp your little last-season Prada shoes at me, honey."
(Solved by Cat.)
4. "I'm going to ask you a straightforward question: Isn't it true that you have, perhaps unwillingly, acquired a certain habit through association with certain undesirable people?" (Solved by Veles.)
5. "Please get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up." (Solved by Wendy.)
6. "You didn't mean it. You never mean it. You didn't mean the time when you put up the bouquet with the 'get well' card in the funeral parlor, and sent the black lilies to that old lady in the hospital." (Solved by Deinos.)
7. "I've got culture coming out of my ass." (Solved by Veles.)
Friday, November 06, 2009
"Traditional Witches often put down Wiccans as 'Fluffy Bunnies' because they are generally more inclined to lighter, gentler practices, but Wicca is a tradition as valid as any passed on within a family for generations, and Gardner himself showed evidence of tapping the bone when he wrought his Wicca out of the pieces he was given by his initiators. Likewise, Wiccans often put down Traditional Witches as being dark, even demonic, when the truth is that we all come out of the darkness, and the point of balance is where there is greatest power and beauty."
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
May all my Strifemongers have the opportunity to kiss his buttocks and sign his black book.
1. Devil's Advocate
2. Race with the Devil
3. The Devil Rides Out
4. The Devil Wears Prada
5. The Devil's Rain
6. Devil in a Blue Dress
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Think of today's theme (which will become very obvious very quickly) as a belated "Happy Samhain" from Chick Publications.
1. He breaks the fourth wall to announce his favorite sin. (Solved by Christina.)
2. Why is a schoolbus out on a Sunday? The roadblock is a trap.
Texan Witches chase a recreational vehicle. (Solved by Brother Christopher.)
3. She has not yet been baptized into the Astronomical Society.
(Solved by Brian.)
4. The most expensively-costumed film in history. (Solved by Debra.)
5. ...and then the cast melts. The End. (Solved by Veles.)
6. "A man once told me that you step out of your door in the morning, and you are already in trouble. The only question is are you on top of that trouble or not?"
(Solved by Lisa.)
7. A blind lawyer from Hell's Kitchen. (Solved by Lisa.)