Saturday, July 04, 2009

Inanna Speaks

Howdee do, y'all. Curtsy.

Strifemongers, did I not just say "curtsy"?

[Insert a moment to let you people collect yourselves and learn to follow orders.]

Better. That's better.

For those who have not had the pleasure, my name is Inanna Dentata. Which, roughly translated, means "She who turns men into women with teeth." And I am Evn's inner drag queen.

Oh, don't even try to act surprised. Stereotypes aside and squelched under one of my (fabulous, you can only hope to one day own knock-off trash vaguely resembling these) heels, every gay man has an inner drag queen. And sometimes--please do excuse the pun--we come out.

In this case, Evn has spent the past 24 hours obsessed with Facebook, desperately trying to reconnect with people from his graduating high school class. (Read: He didn't like them, they didn't like him, but suddenly, sixteen years later, he's feeling all nostalgic. Whatever, butch.) Regardless, with his conscious mind all distracted, I figured I'd seize this particular opportunity and introduce myself to his readers.

You're welcome.

I said curtsy.

So here's the long [bats eyelashes] and short of it: Anytime Evn starts whining to himself about how nice it would be to feel normal, how nice it would be to feel mainstream, how nice it would be to not identify as a gay Witch with a beer belly, I am going to elbow my way onto the dance floor and remind him that normal ain't anywhere near as relevant as special.

Because whether or not his tired ass realizes it, he's special.

And so are all of you.

Now prance, bitches.

15 comments:

Cat Chapin-Bishop said...

Inanna D., could you please remind that boy that he doesn't need to waste time on those idiots from high school?

He has us, his (and, of course your) undying fans to be his Facebook friends.

And we know how to write. With more than just our thumbs.

*sigh*

Tell him not to throw himself away, all right? *blink, blink*

Inanna D. said...

Cat, I will certainly pass your kind-yet-beautifully honest words along.

But do keep in mind that if he didn't occasionally waste his afternoons fretting about those idiots from high school, I woudn't ever have the chance to scandalize his bandwidth.

And gurrl, just between you and me, I am so happy to be here.

Yvonne Rathbone said...

I am delighted to make your acquaintance, Ms. Dentata. I am very glad our Angel of Snarkness has such a charismatic, unique, nervy and talented DQ to back his play at high school reunions.

Inanna D. said...

I am very glad our Angel of Snarkness has such a charismatic, unique, nervy and talented DQ to back his play at high school reunions.

Ms. Rathbone, if he's a very good Angel, I'll show up at his reunion in a ball gown (with evening gloves, thankyouverymuch), and lead his former classmates in a choreographed rendition of "I Will Survive."

Red Delicious said...

In my mind, this character is drawn by the guy who draws "9 Chickweed Lane." Is that weird?

Le Cornichon said...

Welcome sistah, I am Mani Schewitz, le Cornichon's drag king alter. (not unlike Beyonce's Sasha Fierce but with a sock in my pants)
Facebook is an interesting phenom- it can be a fun way to see how all of those creatures from High School wound up, usually it didn't turn out so well- (throws head back and laughs maniaclly as a thunderclap is heard above)

WV: invan- appropriate place you have sex with the high school bully after you see him on Facebook. Also, see: "Faceboink"

Thalia Took said...

This is really just a pathetically transparent attempt to qualify for the women's category in that funniest blog thing, isn't it?

You poor pathetic thing.

And don't call me 'bitch.'

Evn said...

Nah. This was just me handing the steering wheel over to a different part of my personality.

Siobhan said...

Evn, Inana, I CERTAINLY understand the desire to just sometimes be NORMAL, and I'm not more oppressed than any other woman (can't let a chance to jab the patriarchy go by). I'm so happy for you that you HAVE another side of your personality to draw on, to reinforce your specialness.

Why, just this weekend I finally ripped all my CD's to my iPhone, and was sitting outside listening to music, and my husband came out and asked what I was doing, and when I happily said "listening to the Kingston Trio" he replied "What I love most about you is your utter indifference to being cool." Which I both love him for and it hurts. Cuz while it's true, the high school part of me would still not mind being cool.

Anyhoo, enough venting, I don't curtsy. But I DO prance.

Anne-Kathrine said...

*Curtsy* Nice to meet you Ms Inanna. Having total flashback to "To Wong Foo, Thanks for everything! Julie Newmar" (totally luves that movie)

Seriously what the hell is normal??? I know some normal people and they are just plain old boring! OH and highschool is a horror not to be repeated LOL.

Anne Johnson said...

Evn has it exactly right. It's just what I do on my FB. Invite all those high school people who would never speak to you, then shock the s*** out of them with your Pagan antics. When I get around to it, I'm going to "friend" the pastor who told me I'm going to hell. He's on my sister's site.

And I'm on Cat's site if you want to friend me.

Sorry my curtsy is so awkward. I'll practice.

Kitty said...

*curtsy*

OMG, Facebook is my new obsession. I found an old uber christian friend of mine from childhood who turned out to be what I could have been had the dark arts not called to me. **Shivers**

knottybynature said...

*wonders if Evn actually ever did drag shows*

*misses fun times had at EJ's drag shows*


.....


....Evn's on facebook? Dude...hook me up! :) Strifemongers ooze into everywhere, do they not?

beweaver said...

Prancin as fast as I can Your Princessness...

Magaly Guerrero said...

I knew I was special! Now I'm emailing all my Facebook friends to remind them.