Saturday, June 06, 2009

The Bigger the Penis, the Closer to God

So I was over at Co-Witch A.’s place today, and we got in this debate about whether the gigantic lingam she’d put on her altar was, like, phallic-licous enough. (Her: “I think it needs something to make it more obvious.” Me: “Like what, a come-hither smile?”)

Then she kicked Co-Witch K. and Co-Witch B. out of her house and made them go sit on the back porch, because they were dancing around and singing disco tunes while she was trying to make some very important decisions regarding ornamental representations of human genitalia.

And that’s why fertility cults are awesome. The End.

10 comments:

Magaly Guerrero said...

The title of this post is so enlightning! Here I was thinking that some guys' obsession with the size of their penises was unjustified. I guess the poor souls are just worried about being close to the Divine ;)

Evn said...

LMAO

Magaly, I believe you've had an epiphany.

Deborah said...

Jesus God that lingam is going to crush that altar like Godzilla strolling through the park!

Evn said...

Hers is actually a little smaller than the one in the picture.

Also, her altar has a granite top and reinforced legs. I can totally stand on it.

Le Cornichon said...

"Hers is actually a little smaller than the one in the picture. Also, her altar has a granite top and reinforced legs. I can totally stand on it."

Oh my.

WV: "boactate" What Evn does on granite topped tables with sacred lingam

Evn said...

That's oathbound.

Anonymous said...

Objects in mirror are closer than they appear!

;>

-Annye

beweaver said...

I always like giving the lingam a lovely wreath of flowers so it has it's yoni with it always. However you choose to define yoni.

Evn said...

Cynthia, I fully agree. We don't want to leave a lingam hanging.

(grin)

knottybynature said...

She could always use baker's clay and sculpt something.

So it would have that bronzed god look to it's phallic-licious self.

And dude, you could always skip the bakers' dough and make it cookie. Yum. Cookie. *homer simpson gargle*

ressizer: ........ oh, the innuendo that could come from that.