Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Episteria

My mom just announced that Mother's Day is cancelled. She's convinced that if we go out to brunch, an immigrant busboy will cough on her and then she'll immediately die of swine flu.

She will, however, be attending church that morning, where she'll eat bread out of someone else's hand and drink wine out of a communal cup.

I sure hope Jesus hasn't visited Mexico recently.

11 comments:

Red Delicious said...

According to the Mormons, Jesus invented Mexico (I think, but I've been listening to Barney Stinson a lot lately - speaking of which, did you know that Jesus invented the high-five upon his resurrection? It was both celebratory and revealatory, so you know, bonus points).

Also, can Mother's Day not be celebrated in the home? I vote pot luck!

Evn said...

Are you sure Jesus invented Mexico? I'm pretty sure it was Chuck Norris.

Red Delicious said...

Maybe Jesus played Chuck Norris in the movie.

Siobhan said...

mmmmmmmmmmm, homemade brunch. All the bacon you can eat. Purified bacon, of course.

Evn said...

Kosher bacon, perhaps?

Yewtree said...

I knew there was a reason why Mothering Sunday was earlier in the UK. (It's on Lady Day, in fact.)

Didn't you know - Jesus IS Mexican. Well, South American anyway.

Word verification: andedc - does this this mean he's South American and bisexual?

Evn said...

My mother was at my side at the party and never would I become intimate with a woman if my mother was nearby...He will, however, turn some water into a nice chablis.

beweaver said...

Bwahahahahaha

Code Name Sarah said...

I had to comment simply because my verification word was "sarse," which I am pronouncing "sar-sy" and take to mean that this present flu media storm will blow over like SARS did.

I read that maybe deaths in the US aren't happening because we were maybe exposed to a similar flu virus in 2007:
http://tagonist.livejournal.com/183727.html

I am sadly out of my mind with fear -- but to justify my craziness, I would like to point out that I just spent FOUR MONTHS getting over a respiratory infection that began with a flu.

Kitty said...

Either way, my kids are just excited they are getting an 11 day vacation. Their school closed down this morning because a teacher came down with it and exposed a bunch of kids.

Fortunately, my paranoia got me tested earlier this week and I did not have the pandemonious pandemic.

My word verification is 'mensene' like mankind is making a scene out of nothing.

Siobhan said...

Apparently this same thought has occurred to some churches. But we all know waving your hands over the wine sterilizes it!

http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/undergod/2009/04/swine_flu_at_church_fear_not.html?hpid=talkbox1