Friday, October 10, 2008

The Gardnerian Tradition, as Seen from the Inside

It's 10:30 p.m. The phone rings.

Half asleep, I stumble out of bed and fumble for the receiver.


"Hello! Is this Evn?"

"Uh... yeah?"

"Great! This is Fred. Listen, Brenda needs to get in touch with Catherine, but she lost Catherine's number. And she tried calling Hubert to see if he has it, but he went with Lindy and Alex to go visit Morgan, who doesn't ever turn his phone on, and he only checks his e-mail once a week. So she called Valerie, but Valerie only had Catherine's old number from when she lived in Idaho. Have you ever been to Idaho? Anyway, Valerie told Brenda to call me, but I haven't seen Catherine since I ran into her and Clive at that concert in Winnipeg back in '05, so I called Hilda, who IM'ed Theo, and it turns out that Theo had a number written down for a Catherine, but he couldn't figure out if it was Irish Catherine or Lithuanian Catherine. So Hilda called me back, but then Javier called, because Valerie text-messaged him to say that Brenda was looking for Catherine, and he remembered that Catherine had said she'd talked to Diane last month, but everyone knows that Javier always gets Catherine mixed up with Wilhelmina..."

"Okay, I'm sorry, just stop. Who is this, again?"

"Oh, for Gods' sake, Evn, it's Fred. Down from Regina."

"Tall Fred? With the goatee?"

"Yes! Do you have Catherine's number?"

"Let me find my address book."



Albiana said...

Ohmygawds, spew warning next time, pls.

Evn said...

I wasn't sure if this was funny or not when I posted it, so I sincerely appreciate the spewed validation. :)

Cat Chapin-Bishop said...

Ah, the mysterious Mystery Tradition. Yep. In action...

Evn said...

Oh, the whole "we really do all know one another" thing is just one of our Mysteries. The rest are far less blogworthy.

Anne Johnson said...

You're a better man than me.

Wait. That's not saying much.

You are 10,000 times more patient than me. I wouldh have said, "CALL ME BACK NEXT WEEK, DURING THE DAY!"

I am usually fast asleep by 10:30.

Anonymous said...

OMG that was too funny and really sounds like some conversations I've had with a couple of ditzy friends.

Red Delicious said...

Boom! I'm in!

Evn said...


Lisa Adams said...

spew warning... Seriously.