Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Casting Call!

I don't know how she does it, but Anne at The Gods Are Bored managed to score a one-on-one interview with the Goddess Asherah. I was never this lucky when I was a journalist.

During their conversation, Anne suggested that if a movie were made about Asherah's life, Charlize Theron should play the title role. Lover of Strife verdict: [Insert angry buzzing game show noise here].

Theron's lovely, really, but she is not Asherah. The part goes to Gina Torres, or we eighty-six the entire script.

However, this gives me a brilliant idea: a contest! Let's have a contest!

Strifemongers, pick your favorite myth, choose the most appropriate actors to play the Gods who appear in it, and post your submissions in the comments section. Entries will be accepted until next Tuesday, at which time I'll announce my top three casting directors (assuming more than three people enter), each of whom will win an actual prize.

And I mean it this time. As opposed to the last time I offered a prize.


miakoda said...

Gina Torres rocks. Good call.

I'd love to see Angela Bassett and Djimon Hounsou as the orishas Iyansa and Shango. I think they'd be utterly captivating as the first couple of storms and war.

Anne Johnson said...

I wish I had thought of this. Except I don't have any cool prizes. So, top this Y'ALL:

Wisdom Comes to Fionn MacCumhail!

In which young Fionn learns magic from the great sage Finegas, who has been living by a sacred pool, waiting to catch and eat the Salmon of Wisdom.

Young Fionn: Daniel Radcliffe of Harry Potter fame!

Finegas: Donald Sutherland in all his ancient, yet anxious, glory

The Salmon of Wisdom to be created by Brian and Wendy Froud, the pair who brought us "Dark Crystal" and YODA!

I'll take that prize now. Actually, just thinking about this is a prize in and of itself!

Evn said...

Miakoda: I like the way you think! But don't forget to include a myth with your casting. A movie's gotta have a plot.

Anne: Ooooh, The Dark Crystal. I'm remaining objective in my capacity as judge, but if this gay thing ever wears off, I'll totally marry you.

Deborah said...

Kali emerges from the head of Durga.

Durga: Aishwara Rai
Kali:Vivica Fox
Demon Bull: Ron Perlman

Deborah said...

Based on this, of course: http://www.netglimse.com/holidays/durga_puja/mythology_about_devi_durga.shtml

Thalia Took said...

I don't know. I don't think anything can top Anne's choice of Mel Gibson as Yahweh.

Evn said...

Want to be my co-judge, then?

miakoda said...

Oops. I knew that... Sorry!

Re: the Iyansa and Shango movie, I think I'd opt for a modern retelling using double casting -- maybe set it somewhere around the mid-Americas during a particularly bad storm season. A woman (Bassett) and her husband (Hounsou) come to gather up the woman's sickly mother (Diahann Carroll) to flee an approaching hurricane. They're unable to leave before it hits, and as the younger couple argue bitterly, the elder woman begins telling stories of the two fiery orishas -- bringers of storms and change, their nine children, how Iyansa was Shango's equal who fought beside him, etc. The last story is that of Yemaya's (Carroll again) great trick -- getting Iyansa to swap domains with her, from ocean to cemetery, so the younger orisha becomes the guardian of the dead, and Yemaya becomes the ocean mother. (In some of the diaspora myths, the body stays in the cemetery, while the soul ends up in the ocean.) In the modern world, the mother passes away while Bassett watches over her, and as the couple begin to understand the reflections of the myths in their own lives, they find the strength and cooperation they need to survive the worst of the storm.

... And this is officially much longer and more Hallmark-y than I originally intended. Oh, well. I wouldn't mind having more of those if they drew on the old stories. :)

Red Delicious said...

I'm going to go with the American Myth of the legendary Skunk Ape, or Stink Ape, vs. The Chupacabre.

Papa Ge, Carribean Demon of Death: Meschach Taylor (of Designing Women fame)

Skunk Ape: Seth Green

Chupacabre: John Leguizamo

Erzulie, Carribean Goddess of Love: Lark Voorhies

Floyd Phelps, Legendary Game Hunter: Nathan Fillion

Gil Jennings, Florida Game Warden: Garrison Keillor

Also, find parts for: Patton Oswalt and Patti LuPone

knottybynature said...

If we were do re-do Clash of the Titans, can I get Sean Connery to play Zeus? (I think I am in love with that man's voice....)

Hmm...Descent into the Underworld: who would you pick to play Hades, Demeter, and Persephone?

Evn said...

Simon Baker, Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway, respectively. I liked their chemistry in The Devil Wears Prada.

le Cornichon said...

Hows this, Kim Basinger as Medea and Alec Baldwin as Talos.
Here's a mythos rafraîchissemen:
According to Apollodorus, Talos was slain either when Medea the sorceress drove him mad with drugs, deceived him that she would make him immortal by removing the nail, or was killed by Poeas's arrow. In Argonautica, Medea hypnotizes him from the Argo, driving him mad so that he dislodges the nail and dies.

Talos had one vein which went from his neck to his ankle, bound shut by only one bronze nail. The Argo, containing Jason and the Argonauts, approached Crete after obtaining the Golden Fleece. As guardian of the island, Talos kept the Argo at bay by hurling great boulders at it. Medea convinced Talos that she would give him a secret potion that would make him immortal if he would let her stop on the island. Talos agreed and drank the potion and it made him fall asleep. Medea went to him in his sleep and pulled the plug in his ankle, whereupon Talos bled to death (Argonautica 4.1638). Other stories say that when Medea tried to land on the island, Talos scraped his ankle on a rock while trying to fight her off and bled to death.

According to an entirely different version, Talos was killed by an Argonaut Poeas, who shot him in the ankle with an arrow (Apollodorus 1.140). The story is somewhat reminiscent of the story regarding the heel of Achilles.
Any version of the myth would be worth shelling out the $$$ at the theatre!

Red Delicious said...

I think my entry has been blithely ignored.

Your refusal to sell out to the mainstream has only strengthened my resolve.

Evn said...

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just trying to appear impartial. I'm a judge, after all. Mustn't show bias.

Dawtch said...

Love the site, to start with :) I found you through Mrs. B, who I found through The Gods Are Bored...no wonder I'm so damm tired!
I'd have to say my favorite myth, if myth it is, would be the King Arthur tales. As for the appropriate actors and actress, it's going to vary greatly, depending on the "version" your using. The one I prefer would look like this -
Guinevere: Sophia Myles (see image: http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://images.condenastinteractive.co.uk/cgi-bin/GPAOnline2/id/573758/Class/ShowsLarge/MarkupName/-/v/o/573758.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/g-girls/default.aspx%3Fid%3D32708&h=427&w=320&sz=59&hl=en&start=48&um=1&usg=__S900BFFUW9aYt7XHJ-q0T_MhgLU=&tbnid=f872o9Pf7UG28M:&tbnh=126&tbnw=94&prev=/images%3Fq%3DSophia%2BMyles%26start%3D40%26ndsp%3D20%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1B3DVFA_enUS223US278%26sa%3DN
Morgan LeFey: Kiera Knightly (See image: http://www.ugo.com/movies/sexy-halloween-costumes/?cur=keira-knightley
Arthur: Dennis Storhoi (see image: http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/85/Dennisst.jpg&imgrefurl=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/index.html%3Fcurid%3D7122553&h=256&w=353&sz=13&hl=en&start=13&um=1&usg=__XskibnjHOEiy5ASWCz2axh52QIo=&tbnid=HWnAFpFEq2PmWM:&tbnh=88&tbnw=121&prev=/images%3Fq%3DDennis%2BStorh%25C3%25B8i%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1B3DVFA_enUS223US278%26sa%3DN
Lancelot: Colin Farell (see image: http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.moviecitynews.com/arrays/images/2004/new_world/new_world_650.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.moviecitynews.com/arrays/2004/new_world_pic.html&h=433&w=650&sz=126&hl=en&start=17&um=1&usg=__rjkSeWB7VaBtyQsqnVPemCTF_hw=&tbnid=SlxVTkH4I4t8YM:&tbnh=91&tbnw=137&prev=/images%3Fq%3DColin%2BFarell%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1B3DVFA_enUS223US278%26sa%3DN

Ok, there's my ideal cast for the main characters in my favorite myth :)

Evn said...

Welcome to the Strifemongers, Dawtch! I'm glad you found me.

Thalia Took said...

Actually, red delicious, I am Evn's co-judge, and I have a question about your entry.

What is the fate of Gil Jennings, Florida Game Warden, played by Garrison Keillor?

Your answer will determine my judgement.

Yvonne said...

OK, I want to make a film of the story of Pomona and Vertumnus (where Vertumnus disguises himself as an old woman in order to win Pomona's heart). Her other suitors are Silenus, Picus (the woodpecker god), Faunus and Bacchus.

Pomona: Sophia Myles
Vertumnus: Nathan Fillion
Faunus: Colin Firth
Picus: Brad Pitt
Silenus: Nigel Planer
Bacchus: Tony Robinson

Red Delicious said...


I'm still in the storyboard phase, but suffice to say, Gil Jennings' fate will be akin to Buford T. Justice's in SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT, and his comeuppance will be at the hands of Fillion's Phelps. However, unlike Justice, Jennings will blame this cuckolding-by-proxy on his Scandanavian / Lutheran heritage, which leads him to offer up a sacrifice of Powdermilk Buscuits and Ketchup to Odin, which, now that I think of it, is the part that will be occupied by Mr. Oswalt.

Souris Optique said...

Oooh! I think I'm probably too late but here goes anyway.

Descent of Inanna!
Inanna -- Dania Ramirez
Ereshkigal -- Rosario Dawson
Dumuzi -- Sendhil Ramamurthy

Souris Optique said...

Gina Torres _is_ awesome, and were she not otherwise occupied playing Asherah, I would totally cast her as Inanna.

Evn said...

Souris: Unfortunately, we're in the process of wrapping things up on this contest, but I have to say that Rosario Dawson would make a brilliant Ereshkigal.

And there's nothing saying Gina Torres can't work on two projects at once. I'll put a call in to her agent.

Souris Optique said...

*dramatic sigh* Alas, I'd suspected as much. But I thought I'd play anyway. I like to cast fake movies!:)

Evn said...

No worries, I'll be running another contest sometime in the near future. (I like to cast fake movies, too.)