Saturday, August 09, 2008

Opening Acrimonies

I love the opening ceremonies of the Olympics with all my heart. And I hate NBC's Olympic commentators with as equal a passion:

"Now entering the arena is the very small contingent from Bora Bora."

"Wow! Get a load of those costumes, Bob!"

"Those sure are crazy, Steve!"

"Ralph Lauren would never design anything like that for the U.S. team!"

"Ha ha! You're right about that, Steve!"

"And of course, Bora Bora has never won a medal at the Olympic Games, nor will they place in any event this year. Or ever."

"Yes, these opening ceremonies will be the only happy memories of Beijing for most of the athletes competing here."

"They're big losers, Bob!"

"They sure are, Steve!"

"And now the Canadians are entering! Our neighbors from the North, and one of many countries who actually pay their athletes for winning gold medals."

"That's truly a blight on the games, Bob."

"It truly is, Steve. I'm glad things like that don't happen in the U.S.!"

Steve starts to comment on the millions of dollars in endorsement deals handed to U.S. athletes months before the Olympics even begin. Bob freezes him with a glare, places a finger to his lips and shakes his head.

"Um, I'm also glad of that, Bob!"

"And here we have the Republic of Chad, a country known for not speaking English."

"Well, they're certainly not going to win any medals with that attitude."

"You're right about that, Steve!"

"It sure is great to be white and privileged, Bob!"

"Ha ha!"


Thalia said...

Nothing much to add I guess but I wanted to say I LOL'd.

Anne Johnson said...

Made Anne laugh!

Evn said...

Thalia, I wish you could've seen me yelling at the TV and condemning Steve and Bob to the pits of Hell. You would've LOL'd your ass off.

Anne, I love it when that happens!

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog and wanted to say hi *waves*

My sis and I were watching the opening ceremony too and were amazed by how many times they were condecending to other countries. I was hoping we could mute the commentators since they were well annoying, obviously that should be a feature in all new TVs lol.

Evn said...

*Waves back* Welcome aboard! And I'm glad I have a witness to the commentator travesty: weren't they awful?

Anonymous said...

*snort* Rolling on the floor over here. My sentiments exactly.

Evn said...

I have to admit I cracked myself up a lil' bit with this one.

Anonymous said...

Sing it, brother!

This year, I've been enjoying watching the games on the Korean and Chinese channels, because I can't understand a word the commentators are saying. It's very soothing, and I can just watch the games without wanting to shake the disembodied voices till their teeth rattle.

Also, they show cool stuff like Men's Air Pistol and Women's Archery.

Lisa Adams said...

*snicker* You know, I watched the opening and I wanted to smack the idiots myself.

Perhaps we should start a petition to get rid of the damn commentators?

Evn said...

Li, I would happily sign.