Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Step away from the carving knife

My brother (we’re twins, so I should really start calling him Nissyen: believe me, it fits) and his wife are in town for the week, and my parents had us all over last night for a big steak dinner. We were sitting in the living room with my father, attempting to explain to him the miracle of TV that is Project Runway, when my mother wandered in from the kitchen, looking pensive.

“What’s up?” we asked.

“When the police interrogate a murder suspect, they look for three things,” my mother said. “The first is motive, and the second is opportunity, but I can’t remember what the third one is.”

We took a moment to digest that, and then my sister-in-law said, “Don’t they also look for means?”

“Yes!” my mother said. “That’s it! Means! Thank you!”

Another awkward silence. Then, me, half-joking:

“Did you murder somebody?”

My mother smiled sweetly. “Not yet.”

And she wandered back to the kitchen to grill the steaks.

At least, I think they were steaks.

11 comments:

Code Name Sarah said...

And that illustrates very clearly why your mother and my mother are never allowed to meet.

Evn said...

They'd stare at each other for a moment, and one of them would say, "Exactly."

And then we'd see them on the news.

Cat Chapin-Bishop said...

Clearly, you come by your odd sense of humor honestly...

Grian/Lee said...

I think I like your mom. Holidays at your house must be good times.

And everyone should know of the miracle that is Project Runway. In this one case I'm all for proselytizing. I wish Tim Gunn was my dad. He's like the Yoda of fashion. Very Zen, you know? "Make it work little one. Then snatch this bobbin from my hand."

Thalia said...

Cat you totally stole my line!

So you are in fact, The Evil Twin, then? Quelle surprise.

Evn said...

Clearly, you come by your odd sense of humor honestly...

Cat, it's more defense mechanism than anything else. Or maybe plausible deniability (i.e., "Honestly, officer, we thought she was kidding...").

Evn said...

Holidays at your house must be good times.

We watch gangster movies and say things to each other like, "Well, things are gonna be different when I'm running the mob."

"Make it work little one. Then snatch this bobbin from my hand."

LMAO

Click here, read the second-to-last comment.

Evn said...

Thalia, I am The Eviler Twin.

GL said...

I clicked it and read it and that's just hysterical. Seriously, I want my very own Tim Gunn.

Mob movies? Yeah, sounds like my house on a rainy day. Everyone thinks they can be the Don. We should coin a new term: Don-complex.

Thalia said...

Oh yeah, it says that right over there. Forgive me, it's been a rough week.

Lisa Adams said...

*smirk* Why oh why am I not surprised?