Wednesday, July 02, 2008

A Newbie of My Very Own

For the past several weeks, my assistant, J., has been slipping the word "Goddess" into casual conversation.

I assumed he was doing it to make our Christian co-workers uncomfortable. I don't necessarily disagree with making Christians uncomfortable, but from a managerial point of view, if he was only doing it to ruffle feathers around the office, I figured he should probably knock it off.

So this morning, when somebody sneezed and J. was all, "Goddess bless you!" I wandered over to his desk and asked, "Just out of curiosity, why do you keep talking about a Goddess?"

"Because God is a woman," he replied.

I did my best not to spit-take. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I'm one of the 2% of Americans who believe that God is female."

He grinned triumphantly, and I thought to myself, Yep, he’s definitely doing this to make our Christian co-workers uncomfortable. I decided not to mention that I, too, am part of that ubiquitous two percent, but I did go ahead and offer to loan him a statue for his desk, and he said he’d think about it.

“I’m actually wondering if I should be Pantheistic,” he continued. “I’ve been doing some research online, and it seems cool. But there are, like, three different kinds! And I don’t know which one I want to be.”

“Okay, where is all this coming from?” I asked. “Last time I checked, you were agnostic.”

“Well, I am, I guess,” he said. “The thing is, I do believe in God, even if I’m not sure what the rest of my religious beliefs really are. But it would be kind of nice to find other people who see things the same way I do.”

“I’m going to go out on a limb here,” I said. “Have you ever thought about Paganism?”

He admitted that he it wasn’t something he’d considered before, but because of his deeply fundamentalist upbringing, he did like the sound of it.

“There are even Pantheistic Pagans,” I said, carefully toeing the line between education and proselytization. “And for the most part, Pagans are into the Goddess. How’s about I e-mail you a link?”

After reviewing some Web sites, J. said that he could maybe see himself as Pagan. And I said “Neat!” and shut the hell up. Because I’m not going to mold someone in my metaphysical image, no matter how much I may want to.

But if he does turn out to be Pagan, I want to be what I never had: Someone who could step out of the bookshelves of New Age crap at an early enough stage and say, “Let’s head in this direction, okay? It’ll make sense if you stick with it. Promise.”

All that said, J. is nothing if not irreverent, so it came as no surprise when he asked if Bjork could be his Goddess.

Which made me think that Asatru might be a good path for him.

I’ll keep you posted.


Code Name Sarah said...

I am so effing afraid of Bjork. She is definitely scary enough to be a goddess of some sort -- a dark goddess of revenge and haunting vocals.

A Kali for the cold, dark North?


Anne Johnson said...

I am an agnostic, I guess...


Evn said...

Sarah, Bjork scares me, too, but only because she reminds me of every bad relationship I've ever had.

When I first saw her, I was like, "Aw, you're so adorable and quirky! I love you!" And a year later, I was going, "Ohmigod, you're a freak! Get away from me!"

Oh, and the Kali of the cold, dark North is The Cailleach.

Evn said...

I am an agnostic, I guess...

Wasn't that hilarious? Agnostics are like plush toys, they're so darn cute.

Yvonne said...

I think you struck the right balance there.

In fact proselytisation is basically defined as telling people they'll go to hell if they don't follow your religion, or that your religion is the only way to get to heaven. As Pagans would never do that, we are not proselytisers.

Agnostics as plush toys... you could be onto a marketing opportunity there...

Evn said...

Agnostics as plush toys... you could be onto a marketing opportunity there...

Oooh, you know, I quite could be.

If anything, plushness totally worked for Cthulhu...

syren said...

As a singer, I would have to agree that Bjork is pretty scary. Then maybe as some people are unable to appreciate abstract art, I can't appreciate her singing and I'd rather be listening to a Constable, Monet or Klimt:)

Evn said...

Syren, that's an excellent analogy!

Personally, though, I just miss The Sugarcubes. Bjork was so much fun back then--not wearing swans, not punching reporters, fun.