Thursday, April 17, 2008

Technosexuality, Island Style

I'm in Galveston for the next few days, helping my parents run a high school band competition. And also, I think my iPod is gay.

The two connect. Hear me out.

As I drove out of town this afternoon, miraculously missing rush-hour traffic (which, in the Houston area, begins at 3 p.m. and ends in November), I plugged in my iPod and set it to "shuffle," the idea being that it would play random selections from my vast, eclectic music library. And as usual, it went back and forth between a David Sedaris book-on-tape and the Rent soundtrack. Which gives one pause. I've got around 800 music files packed onto this gizmo, less than 10 percent of which cross the lavender line, but my iPod always wants to play the showtunes and the gay essayists in favor of anything else in its memory bank.

It hasn't let me listen to Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again On My Own" in ages. And that's my freakin' theme song.

Anyway, I got a little lost trying to find the venue where I was supposed to meet my parents (on account of Galveston has some kind of citywide religious taboo against protected left turns), and I ended up in an unfamiliar area near the historic Strand district. Turning a corner and praying for a recognizable landmark, I spied a two-story brick building, painted hot pink, with several rainbow flags mounted over the awning.

"Hey, look, a gay bar," I said to myself. And immediately... immediately... my iPod launched into Cher's Believe.

My iPod is a big homo. The proof is in the pudding. Or the dance remix. Whichever.

Oh, and in case there is, at this point, any doubt that the Universe has a sense of humor, I should tell you about our accommodations for the weekend.

Predictably, seeing as how we're staying at a beachfront hotel, my parent's room overlooks the ocean. My room, on the other hand, overlooks a graveyard.

I like my room better. Although we all know what my iPod would rather be looking at right now.


Anonymous said...

My iPod is a fag hag.

Anonymous said...

Sweetie, the iPod is only as gay as the CONTENT you put on it. Show tunes, Cher and Jimmie Summerville doesn't scream out much else.

I'm shocked it didn't bust into something from Avenue Q or Rent...or Under the Sea from the Little Mermaid since you were by the water.

...and stay out of the bars. (evil eye on you)


Evn said...

Hey, I've got tons of not-gay content on my iPod. What about all that Pagan harp music?

And I'm not going anywhere near the bars. I'm just here to eat crawfish and sleep.

Oooh, but there is a new metaphysical shop called The Witchery opening soon. Prepare for a road trip

Lisa Adams said...

*LAUGH* My MP3 player is a brat, never plays what I want to hear when I want to hear it and all the settings are in a foreign language kanji or something (I don't want to make a guess). Oh well, I still love the blinky lights.

Evn said...

Blinky lights ROCK. :o)

Code Name Sarah said...

My iPod tends to play mostly Rasputina and Wesley Willis on shuffle.

That statement got a lot scarier when I read it back to myself.


Evn said...

I sincerely wish your aunt had taken your advice and named her daughter Rasputina. That would've rocked.