Tuesday, November 06, 2007

I'm not a Mason, but I play one on TV

I caught a special on National Geographic last night called "Secrets of the Freemasons." I expected a certain amount of bullcrappiness, if only because the Great God Nielsen demands it. But even with that in mind, the whole thing was pretty appalling.

I'll admit that they made a half-assed attempt at objectivity by including interviews with Master Masons. Unfortunately, those few clips were overshadowed by an ominous voiceover that could give Don LaFontaine a run for his money:

Master Mason - "The Freemasons are a fraternal organization, originally a medieval workers guild that sort of evolved into a social club back in the 1700's."

Ominous Voiceover - "Masonic symbols are linked to Pagan worship and Satanism."

Master Mason - "There will always be some kind of controversy surrounding any initiatory society, but we're really more of a fellowship than anything else."

Ominous Voiceover - "According to conspiracy theorists, the Masons are responsible for every political and religious upheaval in the history of the world."

Master Mason - "Would you like a cookie? Mom baked 'em fresh this morning."

Ominous Voiceover - "There's a Mason with a chainsaw hiding in your closet."

Geez, and I thought Witches had problems.

No comments: