Sunday, August 19, 2007

Things what come out of my mouth

There's a Sheela-na-Gig pendant hanging from my rearview mirror, which I keep in honor of Squat, the Parking Goddess. It's an unassuming yet fertile bauble, and it brings me luck. I have amazing parking karma, to the point where even Jack at his most skeptical can't help commenting that I find parking spots like I'm in a Doris Day movie.

So this morning, we're driving to my parents' new place to help them unload boxes (upon my dad's retirement, they packed up and moved from the suburbs to Houston's Official Gay Neighborhood). Just before we arrive, I reach up and remove the pendant.

Jack immediately starts chuckling: "Well someone's feeling conservative today."

"I am not feeling conservative," I say. "I just don't want to have to explain a big vagina to my parents."

You know what else I don't want to do? Use the words "big vagina" and "my parents" in the same sentence ever again. Because ew.

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