Friday, March 30, 2007

Not thinking happy thoughts

The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, and my Seasonal Affective Disorder is making me want to kill everybody.

Ah, Spring.

I'm feeling grumpy. Not my usually, snarky-but-amusing level of grumpy, but a deeper, virulent grumpy that's getting harder and harder to shake. Insomnia is a big contributing factor, as is the aforementioned SAD and the emotional agony of dealing with my crippling addiction to fashion-oriented Reality TV. But mainly, I'm just pissed off because I found out what "The Secret" is.

For those who don't live your lives in a New Age fugue, "The Secret" is the brainchild of an Australian television producer, who put out a DVD and an accompanying book all about the Law of Attraction and how it can work for you. And according to the Law of Attraction, you get what you think about, so think happy thoughts and only good things will happen to you.

I'm all for thinking happy thoughts, but I'm also all for letting those happy thoughts inspire you to work for what you want to bring into your life (the keyword here being work). You can happy-think about your dream job all you'd like, but unless you turn in some job applications and hand out some resumes to back up your visualizations, it ain't going to happen.

Normally, a New Age trend like "The Secret" doesn't bug me too badly: I just turn the other cheek and continue on my way, secure in the knowledge that another pricey self-help fad will soon come along and take its place. But I received an unsettling e-mail at work yesterday, and "The Secret" is primarily to blame.

This random guy wrote into our company, asking us to send him on a free trip. In return, he'd become our new, enthusiastic spokesperson. His rationale for this cold-call of a pitch (which he thoughtfully included in his letter)? He believed in the Law of Attraction, so if he asked for a free vacation, we would give him one.

"The Secret" has officially invaded my turf. This means war.

7 comments:

Red Delicious said...

You know what's weird? I must've had your page cached or something because TODAY is the first day I've seen anything new on this blog in three months. Clearly, though, you've been posting all this time.

That's weird, my friend who loves strife.

My word verification is zjisi. That's what I'm going to name my next cat. Hold me to it. The zj will combine to form at "Joi" sound, as in the french "joi de vivre."

I just had Ice Cream, and it's entirely too late for that. I must stop typing now.

Sionnach said...

I'm with Red Dilish on this one Evn, I've been conserned as I no longer live in the Sinking City (well, not the same as you at least, the cities here drown instantly or are carrried off to gay[er] end of OZ).
I missed you!
PCflQiLv BTW

Evn said...

Clearly, though, you've been posting all this time.

Well, I certainly haven't been backdating new posts to make it look like I've been posting all this time, if that's what you're thinking...

Evn said...

PCflQiLv BTW

Um, I don't know what this means, but I definitely miss you, too.

Jonah said...

Well, I've never read your blog before today, so I didn't miss you.

It's been two weeks. How's your war on The Secret going? I hope you kicked it's ass.

My word is "mzjdv." I don't think that's a good name for a cat.

Jonah said...

My next word is "pjxpkrkr." Now that's a great name for a dog!

Evn said...

My war is progressing nicely. I have every reason to believe "The Secret" is harboring WMDs.

"Pjxpkrkr" is a loverly name for a dog. "Mzjdv" is a good name for a delicate exotic pet, like maybe a sugar glider.