Wednesday, December 06, 2006


The Almighty and Terrible Spirit Powers of Community Theatre have decreed that it's about damn time for me to crawl back into the spotlight, so I'm doing another play. Specifically, I'm doing (woot!) Bell, Book and Candle, directed by none other than Red Delicious himself. Rehearsals are bringing back blurry, semi-coherent memories of when we were college roommates and life was like an extended episode of Pinky and the Brain, if that show took place in a gay piano bar:

RD: "So wot are we goin' to do tonight, Evn?"

Me: "The same thing we do every night, Red Delicious... get drunk and sing show tunes."

So far, everything indicates that we're going to be putting up an absolutely kick-ass production. The only hitch to date is that one of our actresses needed to step down due to time constraints and job-related commitments. Which, while unfortunate, is completely understandable. However, said actress doesn't realize that if she can't do a play with me, she is obligated to infiltrate the order of satanic nuns I recently discovered.

I don't know that they're actual "nuns" per se, and I admit that my concept of such orders has been inaccurately colored by Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett and Marvel Comics (I picture them looking like the Pussycat Dolls, except wearing habits and little devil horns). But I'm dying to know what goes on at their meetings. Besides, if I can get someone planted on the inside, there's a good chance I can coerce the other satanic nuns into coming to one of our performances. If I play my cards right, this will lead to one of the most fabulous press releases ever written.


Pan said...

I hope they don't loose the Anti-Christ this'll be nice when we can sway the local tribal systems again.

Evn said...

Keeping tabs on the Anti-Christ would be a definite plus. I'd e-mail the sisters and ask, but I suspect it might be best to stay off their radar. For some reason, Satanists don't seem to appreciate my particular brand of satire.