Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Tropical Storm Evn

I'm very sensitive to changes in the weather, and, when firing on all pistons, I can detect the signs of an impending storm hours in advance. There's nothing particularly psychic or Witchy about this ability. It's just that my car's a piece of crap: a 1994 Ford Aerostar minivan, missing its driver's side window and sporting a leaky roof. When the breeze picks up and the sun clouds over, I've learned to tell exactly how much time I have to reach shelter before my trusty vehicle floods from the inside out.

Unfortunately, Nature pulled a fast one this morning. I was on my way to my office, idling at a stoplight, when a tropical storm broke directly over me. Within seconds I could barely see the road, not only because of the buckets of rain cascading across my windshield, but because of the buckets of rain cascading into my car. Drenched, blinded and quickly reaching my breaking point, I did the only logical thing I could think of--I yelled at the storm.

Given the early hour and the dizziness provided by my ear infection, it was easy to romanticize the situation: a Witch stands alone on the wind-swept heath between his village and the ominous black clouds gathering on the horizon, his cloak swirling about him as he stares down a vengeful Sky God.

It was kind of like that. Except I was sitting in a minivan, screaming "Stop it!" in a high-pitched, whiny voice, flapping my hands helplessly and trying not to cry. The storm did not stop on cue, as I'd hoped. Instead, it raged until I burst through the doors of my office building, soaked and shivering, then let up immediately. Immediately.

That darn Sky God. Hoo-boy, what a comedian.

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