Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Speaking of Witchcraft...

A co-worker and I were hanging about in front of our building, sneaking a quick cigarette break. He asked what my plans were for the weekend, and I replied that I was flying to California to visit friends.

"You do that a lot," he remarked, his brow furrowing. "Why do you go to California every few months?"

I stuttered for a reply, and then blurted, "I'm a Witch, and I'm going to see my coven."

"Oh," he said, his interrogation face crumbling into disappointment. "I thought maybe you were having an affair."

A couple of different things bothered me here. First of all, if I was going to pay over $200 to have sex, he can come to my house, thank you very much, and he better look exactly like the picture in the back of the magazine. Second of all, why is the possibility of me having an affair that interesting? I'm gay, for Christ's sake. The fact that I'm not having an affair at least warrants a Page 2 mention in the National Enquirer. And third of all... why did I fold that quickly? To be honest, I'm pretty disappointed in myself for not coming up with a believable excuse. Again, I wonder just how long I would have lasted in 17th-century America:

"Master Whitaker, be it true that thou art a Witch?"

"Well, duh. But I'm certainly not having an affair, if that's what thou art implying..."

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Things that make you go WTF?

While strolling along a busy pedestrian sidewalk with a good friend of mine, I caught myself saying:

"I really wanted to go to the Bigfoot convention, but I was just too busy practicing Witchcraft."

It wasn't that I actually said this that bothered me--after all, I really did have to skip out on what promised to be a fabulous Bigfoot convention because of Pagan-oriented religious obligations. It was that I said this out loud, in public, surrounded by strangers.

Sometimes I think I'm just too darn comfortable being me. It's this kind of attitude that got all those Puritans in trouble:

"Well of course I was dancing naked in the woods with Tituba. What didst thou think I was doing?"