Monday, February 14, 2005

Top Tens are innovative and fun!

I'm on this wacky, vaguely Paganish e-mail list, where the subject "advice for a coming-out Witch" recently cropped up. I'm not sure how this particular thread developed, since conversations usually revolve around margaritas, Eddie Izzard and necrophilia-inspired humor, but the following was my contribution.

Top Ten Things to Say to Someone Who Tells You That He/She is a Witch:

10. Do you eat babies? Would you like to try one?

9. Funny, you don't look like a lesbian.

8. Wow, you must have a really strong relationship with Jesus if he's letting you get away with that.

7. I accept you for who and what you are. Just kidding, you're kind of a freak.

6. Can you do that thing? That thing that all witches do? (then, no matter what they do next) Nah, that wasn't it.

5. That's so cool! Satan told me I'd find my HellQueen today.

4. I'm a fairytale princess, and you're totally oppressing me.

3. The last witch I met was taller than you.

2. By proudly proclaiming your religious beliefs, you officially represent every Pagan on the planet. Good luck with that.

1. No you're not.