Sunday, August 07, 2005

Hey, I thought I was the rational, logical one...

Jack, my trusty life partner, has spent the afternoon watching a marathon of spider-themed horror movies on the Sci-Fi channel. I wandered into the living room just as several terrible actors, sneaking through a top secret military complex, realized that the power had gone out. As such, none of the locks worked, and therefore nothing was preventing the genetically-altered mutant spiders from escaping into polite society.

"And that's the fundamental flaw in science fiction!" Jack suddenly yelled, jabbing the remote control at the television for emphasis. "Every time the electricity goes out, it means that some horrible evil is going to be unleashed on mankind. If it were really that important to keep a big, scary monster contained, somebody would've installed deadbolts."

Wow, I thought, reeling from the massive jolt of realism smacking me in the face. That really is a fundamental flaw in science fiction. As far as I'm concerned, Jack is officially the most logical being on the planet. I think for his birthday, I'm going to hit a costume shop and present him with his very own pair of pointy ears. He can be the big gay Vulcan the Federation doesn't want you to know about.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Actually, being gay is a perfectly logical position for people living on an arid desert planet like Vulcan. Overpopulation would be less of a problem that way, so competition for resources would be lessened. See? Very logical.

Although no one has ever mentioned how homosexuality might affect Pon Far, at least not to me. But you know that somewhere out there, there's a dude living in his parents' basement who has figured it all out. However, he's not telling because he doesn't want the other basement dwellers to know that he thought that long about the whole thing.

Um, never mind. Yay for deadbolts!