Monday, June 06, 2005

Evn has a scare!

I was playing around on the Internet last night when suddenly, and with a disheartening click, my computer shut down. My first thought was that there had been a power outtage, up until I realized that all of the lights were still on. Discarding that idea, I moved on to the next most logical assumption: I must have destroyed the computer with the power of my mind. Again.

Let me say right now that I am not one of those people who're convinced they're living in the X-Files. I'm all set to believe in alien abductions and demonic possessions and life-shattering curses thrown by covens of evil witches, with the caveat that those who have experienced such things do not sit next to me on buses.

That said, I kill computers.

A couple of years back, Jack and I were arguing over something having to do with the computer (I don't remember exactly what brought the whole thing on, but I'm sure I was totally in the right). The argument ended with me yelling, "Well, I'm never using the computer ever again, so there!" Satisfied that my point had been driven home in a way that was not at all reminiscent of a five-year-old's temper tantrum, I stomped off to bed. The next day found Jack at Best Buy picking up a new hard drive to replace the one that had mysteriously fried overnight.

I wrote this off as certainly not my fault, but reconsidered when several other computers terminally crashed in my presence, including my friend Sarah's laptop, which was unharmed, offline and unplugged when I got to her house one afternoon, but somehow managed to suffer fatal power surge-related damages while I was sitting next to it.

After several conversations with various occultists who know from these things, I learned that these computer malfunctions were resulting from misdirected energy. For example, when arguing with Jack, I was directing my anger at the computer instead of him, so the computer took the brunt of my emotions. It was a simple thing to start saying things like, "Jack, I am very upset right now, and I'd like to discuss some things and work them out," as opposed to "Aaargh, I hate the freaking computer and all the misery it has brought into my life! Stupid, stupid computer!"

I decided to talk to Jack about this, figuring that if I was being completely superstitious and/or irrational, he'd smack some sense into me. Instead, he stared at me for a bit, then said, "That's why I don't like it when you point at me." Feeling validated, if not slightly concerned that my ever-loving life partner thinks of me as a loaded weapon with a broken safety, I worked to have a better mindframe when messing with the computer. The number of replacement hard drives we were buying decreased dramatically, and Jack and I stopped being so passive-agressive with each other.

And then last night, the computer turned itself off.

Being the technophile of the house, Jack immediately crawled under the desk with a flashlight to check the wiring while I sat on the bed chanting, "I swear I didn't do it." After a couple of seconds of poking around, Jack popped back up and announced that one of our cats had stepped on the switch of the power strip, shutting off the computer. So then I felt better.

I did briefly entertain the notion that maybe I had psychically contacted the cat, telepathically bidding her to turn off the computer for me. But then I realized that my cats don't do what I want even when I'm screaming at them. If I established some kind of psychic rapport with my cats, it would just prove that they see me as the big, stupid cat who can reach the can opener.

1 comment:

Bo said...

My laptop expired on my last birthday when I was feeling depressed and upset. Later that afternoon my wallet was stolen! I was really projecting BAD VIBES that day...