Thursday, December 11, 2003

Hair Today, Shaved Tomorrow

I just got my hair cut, which for me is a major event: I'll get a flattop or high-and-tight, and then grow it out for four or five months, and then get it cut again. I don't know why I'm so weird about this. Everyone I know is, like, "Oh my GOD! I haven't had a haircut/been to my stylist/fixed my new growth in TWO WEEKS! Can you BELIEVE IT?!" And I'm standing there looking like an extra on That Seventies Show.

For some unknown reason, stylists don't listen to me. I'd try all these different hair salons, barbershops, even this place downtown that shaves heads for $3, but no matter where I'd go, the hair-cutting-person wouldn't do what I asked.

Hair-Cutting-Person: "And what are we doing today?"

Me: "Just a caesar cut, thanks."

HCP: "Hmmm. No."

Me: "Um, excuse me?"

HCP: "You can't wear a ceasar. Not with the shape of this head."

Me: "But the last person who cut my hair said that a caesar looked really good on me." (ed. note: I have no idea what I actually asked for when I ended up with a caesar cut. Probably a mullet or something.)

HCP: "That 'stylist' was obviously on drugs. Let's see what happens when we feather it..."

So yeah, not too keen on the haircuts. However, I've recently discovered this old-fashioned barbershop, where everyone leaves looking like Johnny Unitus. I popped in there yesterday, and got my hair chopped into a cross between marine recruit and leatherman. So now I won't have to mess with it for months. Happy, happy me...

On a vaguely homoerotic side note:
I was talking to one of the hosts at Helios last night, planning out next week's feature, and in the middle of discussing the pros and cons of slam poetry, he said, "You have a beautifully shaped head."

Take that, wouldn't-give-me-a-ceasar-cut lady.

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