Tuesday, July 29, 2003

Alice Has Two Daddies

Only a few major flubs/missed entrances/et al at the show this weekend, and none of them my fault, so that's a nice feeling. After Sunday's matinee, a bunch of us went for pizza, where the director shared various compliments heaped upon him by the audience. Apparently, I have "very nice facial expressions during the dinner party scene." A resounding round of applause for my facial expressions.

Lee, an old friend of mine whom I used to work for in college, came to the show, and remarked to the director, "Hey, I think Mr. Sycamore's gay. Ha ha ha..." This is Lee's Favorite Joke in the Whole World. I could win the Nobel Peace Prize, and Lee would show up at the awards ceremony and go, "Hey, I think that guy giving the acceptance speech is gay. Ha ha ha..." It really shouldn't bother me that badly: after all, I'm pretty much the only gay guy most of my friends know. But it gets old sometimes. Like when I'm trying to be recognized for some kind of artistic endeavor, and all anyone can say is "You sure are gay. Ha ha ha..."

I shouldn't blame Lee: like a lot of straight men, he sometimes gets insecure when it comes to his self-image, like he's got to reaffirm that he is All Man to whatever audience he's facing. I just wish it wasn't so often at my expense.

I used to be highly anti-separatist when it came to the gay community, especially when confronted with gay guys who acted or felt superior to straight people. Sometimes, though, I totally understand the inclination. It's like, why should I bother pandering to straight people who're going to keep me around as the butt of their tired jokes, when I could go back to Lobo (a gay bookstore/coffee shop where I used to work) and immerse myself in an environment where sexuality (at least, mine) isn't an issue?

If anything, I'm sure I'll get a couple of decent poems out of this.

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