Tuesday, June 24, 2003

Omens

According to traditional folklore (Irish, I believe), if a large bird flies in front of you, heading right to left, it's a sign of bad things to come. But what if, instead of a bird, it's a beachball-sized pink flamingo balloon that drifts past your office window? According to my best buddy Sarah, it was a sign of ominously tacky things in my future.

This concerned me. I've got too much on my plate right now: a job, a play, overdue freelance articles, two literary magazines who want me to do layouts for them, a pile of chapbooks to pimp on the unsuspecting public, a 1994 Ford Aerostar Minivan that will crumble into dust if I slam its sliding door too hard... and now the impending threat of the ominously tacky.

On a related note, a friend of mine asked me to teach him how to be gay: it seems a local playwright contacted him and asked him to be in a new show, yet another one of those gay-porn-turned-comedic-romp, "fresh and edgy" theatrical events that seem to be popping up like herpes across the country. He was offered the part of Chi Chi LaRue (a popular gay porn director/drag queen, for those of you who've led cleaner lives), and now wants me to help him "get into" the role.


Could this be what the flamingo was trying to tell me?

2 comments:

Jarred said...

On a related note, a friend of mine asked me to teach him how to be gay.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has several humorous, yet inappropriate responses coming to mind for such a request.

Anonymous said...

So THAT'S where my balloon went to.
--georges